Finding a Job Doesn't Require Acrobatics

Which one is your dream job?

This isn't just a list of jobs. It's list of positions for the best-of-the-best. These are jobs that will rock the socks off of a Superhero Nerd. These are the kinds of jobs you want to get out of the bed in the morning for. If you think you've got what it takes, .

Please note though, if you're not funny and extremely driven, or if you've got an ego the size of Milwaukee, or if you don't mind thumb twiddling away your days, then our employers and jobs probably aren't for you.

Great, Amazing, Rock-Your-Socks Off Jobs

User Experience Samurai (Washington DC - Near Metro Center)

Are you a user experience ninja with several years of experience making awesome web sites? Do you prefer to show us all of your great ideas instead of hearing about why we think this is such a great place to work? Great!

Now that we're on the same page, we want to tell you about us and hear about you.

You'll be leading a complete overhaul of our user interface and experience across all of our customer facing projects. You'll have a full team of fellow designers and developers at your disposal to help you achieve your vision.

We are already impressed with you creativity and your dedication making the best possible experience. We love that you care about user experience, but really we love being inspired by you and everything that you do. Especially the stuff you do in your free time. We want to learn more about it. Like to cook? Us too! Home brew? Let's share pint! In a band? When's your next gig - we'll be there.

We already know that you:

  • Are an HTML/XHTML wizard and can rock out a layout using pure CSS
  • Can effectively communicate design ideas to all stake holders from designers, to developers, to Q/A, to customer service, management, executives, and the end users.
  • JQuery, MooTools, Dojo, YUI, Ext, Prototype. We know and love them too. But do you? And can you handle a complex page without them? We want to hear how you'd use two of them to make a page shine with dynamic goodness, and then hear how'd you do it without them.
  • Know how to use AJAX-enabling technologies like XML, XSTL, Schemas, and JSON.
  • As with every job posting for a UI designer, jack-of-all-trades is nice, so SQL, Java, and other backend tech is a plus. But so is having a life, creativity, and the energy to keep a fresh perspective.
  • We'll want you to take charge. You'll set the coding standards, select frameworks/platforms, mentor coworkers, oversee code reviews, and explain our architecture and technical concepts to business folks. You'll have a lot of responsibilities, but it's okay, we know you can handle it.
  • Well versed in usability best practices, a passion to keeping up-to-date on the latest research, and a desire to spread your knowledge over every nook-and-cranny of the company.

We're pretty sure your resume has four or more of the following:

  • Five or more years professional usability or web development of dynamic web content (ecommerce a plus)
  • Managing, hiring, and mentoring a world-class team
  • Loves to rapidly prototype cool new features know it's just to see what sticks to the wall
  • Advocate for sensible methodologies that will yield high quality work without killing your buzz
  • Understanding that business requirements are never finished and can handle working with people who change them mid-stream without strangling them and still delivering a finished product that wows them
  • Manage temp or contractors who can help reduce some of team's burden

 

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "User Experience Samurai (ID 35)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Information Review And Release Expert (McLean, VA)

We're looking for an expert-level information review and release expert support. You’ll be expected to perform extensive information review activities and provide recommendations to the in response to Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests, Congressional inquiries, 25-year declassification efforts, and all forms of public release.

We need someone with an active security clearance (TS/SCI with CI Polygraph or Fullscope/Lifestyle Polygraph) who can hit the ground running (or someone who’s had an active security clearance within the last 5 years). This is a full-time client position located in McLean, VA. Due to the sensitive nature of our work, this is a full time, on-site position – sorry, there’s no option for remote work or telecommuting.

You’ll use your expertise to help us do the following:

  • Review (FOIA) requests, conduct and coordinate searches, and draft appropriate responses based on the searches
  • Review Privacy Act (PA) requests, conduct and coordinate searches, and draft appropriate responses based on the searches
  • Review documents to determine their proper National Security classification
  • Review documents as part of the pre-publication review process
  • Review documents received as referrals from other agencies
  • Provide coordination support with various internal agency components as well as with other external agencies

Required Background:

  • Bachelors’ degree (e.g., History, Business, Accounting, Law) supplemented by verifiable, relevant work experience in Records Management
  • Must know or demonstrate the ability to learn and research agency regulations, policies, and procedures
  • Must have experience with review and release of classified information; experience with FOIA policy and declassification of classified documents
  • Must demonstrate having applied knowledge and experience of the Federal Records Act, Privacy Act, FOIA, Executive Order 12958 as amended, federal recordkeeping requirements, regulations, policies, practices, and technologies governing the Intelligence Community (IC)
  • Current (or active within the last five years) TS/SCI with CI or higher level polygraph

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Information Review And Release Expert (ID 36)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Plans & Budget Support for the Intelligence Community (McLean, VA)

Do you love numbers, accounting, and helping plan budgets? Do you want to more than just balance the books? Are you looking to gain more experience on a sophisticated accounting team that strives to provide excellent support to everyone that interacts with us? If so, we’ve got a job for you.

We need someone with an active security clearance (TS/SCI with CI Polygraph or Fullscope/Lifestyle Polygraph) who can hit the ground running (or someone who’s had an active security clearance within the last 5 years). This is a full-time client position located in McLean, VA. Due to the sensitive nature of our work, this is a full time, on-site position – sorry, there’s no option for remote work or telecommuting.

Your day-to-day activities will include:

  • Support the Plans & Financial Resources office – currently 3 Chiefs, 1 Comptroller.
  • Duties include presenting monthly accomplishments at the Program Management Reviews, approving timecards, and submitting bi-weekly status reports to Pyramid Program Management Team.
  • Supporting the Budget Officer in budgetary processing, resource analysis, and reports preparation.
  • Assist ODNI Resource Managers in formulating and reviewing budget short and long range spending plans, goals, and objectives.
  • Assist in the budget formulation and execution of the two IC budget exercises (IPBS and CBJB).
  • Create templates and presentations as needed for ODNI executive management.
  • Monitor budget execution year obligations and expenditures to ensure programmatic guidance compliance.
  • Answer customer inquiries concerning budget matters with accurate information.
  • Support to Pyramid Program Management Team – includes bi-weekly status reports.

Qualifications:

  • Excellent organizational skills, ability to learn quickly, and ability to prioritize and complete tasks with time-sensitive deadlines.
  • Detail oriented and function in a team environment.
  • Familiarization of Federal financial management systems and government accounting.
  • Working knowledge of the Intelligence Community budget cycles to include IPBS and CBJB processes.
  • PARIS and BASIS experience required.

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Plans & Budget Support for the Intelligence Community (ID 37)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Webmaster and Content Manager (McLean, VA)

Are you a web designer who likes to wear multiple hats? We’re looking for a top-notch web master and content manager who will be responsible for maintaining existing websites as well as designing new and attractive sites that are easy to navigate.

We need someone who not only understands that latest in Web 2.0, but someone who can also ensure that all design work undertaken adheres to the customer, Federal, and Industry standards for branding, design, optimization, platform compatibility, and color schemes.

You’ll do more than just design sites. You’ll gather design and system requirements, test functionality, resolve anomalies, and research and implement new features for all supported internal and external websites. You’ll attend design review meetings on behalf of management and provide status reports to senior management. As you may have already guessed, graphics experience is required.

We need someone with an active security clearance (TS/SCI with CI Polygraph or Fullscope/Lifestyle Polygraph) who can hit the ground running (or someone who’s had an active security clearance within the last 5 years). This is a full-time client position located in McLean, VA. Due to the sensitive nature of our work, this is a full time, on-site position – sorry, there’s no option for remote work or telecommuting.

Desired Knowledge/Skills

  • Ability develop small and enterprise scale web sites.
  • Provide O&M support and content management for "legacy" websites.
  • Able to update "legacy" code (formula, LotusScript, HTML, JavaScript).
  • BA in Computer or equivalent experience and at least 5 years experience in web design.

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Webmaster and Content Manager (ID 38)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Sr. SQL Oracle Developer (McLean, VA)

Are you an Oracle guru who’s fluent in SQL? Do you think the XKCD cartoon about Bobby “Drop tables” is hilarious? If so, we’ve got a job for you.

We’ve got a mountain of legacy data that needs your help to move forward. You’ll be expected to familiarize yourself with the database architecture, and the ideal candidate will see the forest through the trees and will help refine the database architecture so that the migration occurs cleanly.

The initial project will consist of migrating data from four Lotus Notes databases to a relational SQL 2005 database. Candidate should have an understanding of business rules and how to create these relationships so that a current customer can continue work on an open task after the migration from an old system to a new system and search and report on legacy data.

We need someone with an active security clearance (TS/SCI with CI Polygraph or Fullscope/Lifestyle Polygraph) who can hit the ground running (or someone who’s had an active security clearance within the last 5 years). This is a full-time client position located in McLean, VA. Due to the sensitive nature of our work, this is a full time, on-site position – sorry, there’s no option for remote work or telecommuting.

Qualifications:

  • Fluency in Transact SQL, stored procedures, and data migrations.
  • Requires BS/BA degree.
  • Requires 10-15 years experience.
  • To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Sr. SQL Oracle Developer (ID 39)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Sr. Network & Security Engineer (DC Metro / Northern VA / MD Suburbs)

Are you a Cisco & Security guru?

Tired of being stuck in a bat cave in one office?

You won't be stuck in a cubicle or windowless office - you'll be traveling around the DC Metro/Northern Virginia/MD Suburbs to client sites representing a truly fun, energized team with high integrity and phenomenal talents.

You'll bring the security and networking forces of behemoth companies to thriving small and mid-sized clients who deserve the same security protocols and operations.

There's plenty of autonomy and you'll be showing off your skills. But more important than the specific technology, you're happy if the client is happy! If you're someone who is stuck on doing it "your way" then this probably isn't the ideal match for you.

You'll be the primary interface with clients and you'll be the one to whom both clients and your company express their gratitude. And you'll be able to save on gas and your commute as you can go directly from home to your clients' sites without stopping in at the office. (This is a company that truly "gets it".)

We're seeking a senior guru, so grab networking utility belt and get ready to be in a high-performance fabulous new role for 2010 and beyond for the long-term. Consulting background helpful but not necessary.

Here's what you'll do:

  • Be responsibile primarily for VPNs, both site to site and remote access.
  • Termination devices are all Cisco whether Cisco client, PIX, VPN Concentrator, IOS, or ASA.
  • Show your mastery at PIX to PIX VPN tunnels, Access-lists, and other security related tasks.
  • Put that CCSP certification to use if you have one; you'll be responsible for IDS, MARS, AC Ls and firewall configurations.
  • And of course the basics including configuring T1s from ISPs for turnup and a good understanding of building cabling infrastructure from both a LAN side and from building TELCO side.
  • Must be able to comfortably move between Cisco and MS platforms with ease and with confidence.

You'll also need stellar communication skills and comfort presenting to and working with clients.

If you're looking for a long-term gig you can really enjoy day to day, and want to be part of a great team (not just earning a paycheck and dreaming for the workweek to end) and love your job, this role and company, this prized opportunity might just have your name on it.

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Sr. Network & Security Engineer (ID 40)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Sr. Help Desk/Desktop Support Guru (DC Area)

Do you excel at the Senior Desktop Support Level and feel ready to delve further into server work? If so, this could be the next great career boost for you.

You'll be part of a niche team that’s bringing the security, networking and support forces of behemoth companies to thriving small and mid-sized clients who deserve the same security protocols and operational reinforcements.

There's plenty of autonomy and opportunity to enhance your skills and technical breadth. Most importantly, you’ll be making a difference to your clients, taking care of time sensitive, important needs.

Consulting or Professional Services background is very helpful and relevant, but not necessary. Here's what you'll do:

  • The Senior Support Technician possesses technical and analytical skills and utilizes these skills on a daily basis to resolve technical problems relating to computer workstations, printing and local networks. The occupant of this position is innately responsive, enjoys helping others and solving problems, and has a strong focus on customer service. You’re courteous by nature and conduct business in a professional manner at all times.
  • Position is primarily 8 a.m. – 4 p.m., but you’ll need to carry a cell phone and be responsive occasionally.
  • You’ll analyze and resolve complex customer and technical problems involving multiple technologies and platforms in an enterprise environment;
  • Serve as escalation point for complex technical and/or sensitive customer issues;
  • Participate and advise in the definition of desktop and applications standards, images, processes, and policy governance to improve technical services
  • Provide assistance and support for security administration, mail, file servers and assisting users with backup and recovery.

Qualified candidates ideally have a college degree, or two year college or university program certificate and two years' support experience in an enterprise or large computing environment; or equivalent combination of education and experience.

Industry standard certification Microsoft Certified Desktop Technician (MCDST) and/or CompTIA A+ is preferred. Thorough knowledge of PC hardware and associated subsystems, Microsoft Windows Desktop Operating Systems, and various troubleshooting tools and techniques is required. Basic knowledge of client-server computing, network architecture and system redundancy is strongly preferred.

To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Sr. Help Desk/Desktop Support Guru (ID 41)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

Job Analysis & Classification Support (McLean, VA)

Do you know workforce analytics like the back of your hand? Do you look at existing practices and instantly see how you can process improvement strategies to lead MSC/HR IT improvement efforts? If so, then we’ve got the job for you.

We need someone with an active security clearance (TS/SCI with CI Polygraph or Fullscope/Lifestyle Polygraph) who can hit the ground running (or someone who’s had an active security clearance within the last 5 years). This is a full-time client position located in McLean, VA. Due to the sensitive nature of our work, this is a full time, on-site position – sorry, there’s no option for remote work or telecommuting.

Workforce Analytics

  • Proven familiarity with gathering functional requirements and dealing with both the functional and technical users of a system.
  • Ability to extract workforce data from the enterprise HR system to satisfy requests from various internal and external stakeholders, including Congress, EEO, ODNI Chiefs of Staffs, the NCTC Director, and the ODNI Director Intelligence Staff.
  • Quantitative data analysis skills are required, including Cognos and Excel and the ability to build and use pivot tables.
  • Microsoft Access, Microsoft Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) familiarity highly desired.
  • Previous workforce planning or workforce analytics skills are desirable
  • Process Improvement

  • Demonstrating understanding of HR processes, systems, and procedures
  • Experience using Microsoft Sharepoint, Microsoft Infopath
  • Process mapping and Change management experience a plus
  • Must be comfortable dealing with and speaking about IT systems, such as relational databases, Access, Cognos, HTML, and SQL. the best fit.
  • IT requirements gathering experience preferred
  • To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Job Analysis & Classification Support (ID 42)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

    Algorithm Design Engineer (Gaithersburg, MD)

    Want to apply your algorithm and DSP expertise to the next generation of interactive multimedia? We’re looking for the best-of-the-best to help take our award wining products to the next level. We’ve got our fingers in a lot of cookie jars – from embedded platforms to a wide range of in-home entertainment devices including televisions, PCs, DVRs, media adapters, gaming devices, and more.

    You’ll be responsible for finding new and amazing ways to advance the state of the art. You’ll work with an uber-talented team to define, prototype, and develop novel man/machine interface devices. To run with the big dogs, you'll need strong experience with digital signal processing (DSP), real-time resource-limited systems, probability and nonlinear methods.

    While we are looking for an inventor, we also need you to have stellar communication skills. You're an incredibly talented, well-regarded engineer, not solely a research scientist; theory is important but your position here requires application and the ability to take a concept through production. The maximum cycle is two years and most often is quite a bit shorter as these phenomenal products get applied to consumer electronics and potentially other breakthrough areas. We’ll need you to help explain the ins-and-outs to potential and current OEM customers.

    Responsibilities

    • Invent, design, implement and test real-time algorithms on resource-limited systems that distill raw sensor data into meaningful information
    • Work closely with our world-class team to develop products from concept to production
    • Submit patent applications for inventions

    Job Requirements

    • B.S. in electrical engineering, ECE, applied physics or applied mathematics with focus on signal processing, control theory or related field
    • 5 years relevant professional experience
    • Expert in digital signal processing (DSP) and numerical methods
    • Creative, with an insatiable drive to innovate
    • Mature, self-motivated and capable of working both independently and in a team
    • Proficient in high level programming language (C, C++, Java)
    • Strong verbal and written communication skills including the ability to clearly and persuasively articulate technical ideas

    Desirable Qualifications (not all are required, but they are extremely relevant to the position and work)

    • Master's degree or Ph.D with three years of relevant professional experience
    • Experience with adaptive, Kalman or Bayesian filtering (extending DSP qualifications)
    • Experience with estimation theory, pattern classification or machine learning
    • Proficient with Matlab, statistical analysis or error analysis
    • Familiarity with quaternion calculus or nonlinear geometry
    • Design experience with tracking or navigation systems
    • Consumer electronics industry or product development experience
    • Project management or team leadership experience

    To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Algorithm Design Engineer (ID 43)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

    Chief Technology Officer (Washington, DC)

    Hi! We’re glad you’re here. We really need your help.

    We’re a burgeoning online news media organization based in the heart of Washington, DC and we’ve got a CTO position opening up in a couple of weeks.

    Oh right, that’s why you’re reading this. Because you’re the person we’ve been looking for.

    Let’s get down to it. We need you to jump in and help us with our strategy and planning to expand our company to the global level. You’ll work with our amazing CEO and other key players from our All Star Team to figure out how the heck we’re going to pull this off. Mind taking lead on figuring out the two-five year plan for our tech development? Awesome, I’m glad your engines are revved - we love that passion.

    Oh, right, we should give you some more details about what you’ll be doing. You’ll be focusing on our development efforts as well as managing operations.

    Development and Deployment

    • Lead the software development process
    • Develop internal procedures, processes, deployment methodologies, and objectives across technical groups to increase productivity, efficiencies and revenue opportunities
    • Provide leadership in defining product requirements and oversee product development from design to execution
    • Conduct code reviews and specification conformance testing as defined by the selected software development methodology
    • Establish and oversee a quality assurance process Review and approve proposed development releases and oversee the release process
    • Select, deploy, and monitor performance profiling tools and procedures
    • Establish an application deployment process

    Operational Management

  • Attract, coach, retain and motivate a world class team of software developers Maintain up-to-date knowledge of technology standards, industry trends, emerging technologies, and software development practices
  • Ensure that technology standards and processes are maintained across the organization
  • Share knowledge, mentor, and educate the organization's investors, management, staff, partners, customers, and stakeholders with regard to the company's technological vision, opportunities, and challenges
  • Qualifications

    • Bachelor’s Degree and higher from prestigious university or college with a focus on IT/Computer Science. High GPA will be important.
    • 15 years experience of software development for innovative, relevant and emergent technology companies, preferably in a media or news space
    • 10 years experience successfully building, managing, motivating and mentoring world class software engineering teams, preferably in early to mid-stage companies
    • 7 years experience in top technology leadership positions developing, delivering and supporting a large scale software service offering Deep expertise with digital media, open source technology and web applications
    • Extensive cross functional leadership over engineering, architecture, QA and UI design
    • Demonstrated results in scaling technology for growth and early stage companies
    • Knowledgeable of current technology and stays close to the code understands from an engineering perspective what is required to get projects completed Advanced degree in computer science or related technical field
    • Proven success setting goals, meeting milestones, and shipping product via effective organization and management
    • Ability to communicate easily and effectively – and with humor - across diverse teams

    To apply, send an e-mail to with the subject line "Chief Technology Officer (ID 44)". Attach your resume and tell us why this is your dream job.

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